The truth.

So, Valerie was still married when she got pregnant with me.  I'm not sure my Dad knew about that.  I'm not sure he knew about a lot of things when it came to Valerie's not-so-distant past.  I found out later that he was truly in love with her and was crushed when she walked out on us when I was 10 months old.  With that being said, maybe he didn't want to know too much about her and preferred to keep his vision of her as rosy as could be.  Valerie had left two other times before she finally left for good.  She went back to Canada on the premise of visiting her mother.  I found out much later on in life that this was also a lie as she was estranged from her mother for many years.  When she went back to Canada she visited Ken, the man she was legally married to that she claimed she could not locate.  Behind my father's trusting back, she was going home to another man.  All the while leaving behind a man who adored her and an infant.  During one of those trips back to Canada, Ken returned home to find Valerie on the couch with another man.  He promptly threw her out and told her to never come back.  As it turns out, Valerie was pregnant again when she left my father in June of 1974 (dates are approximate).  She gave birth to a boy named Mark somewhere in Canada.  She contacted Ken to let him know that she had had another baby and that it was his.  Not believing her, and rightfully so, he demanded a paternity test.  He never heard from her again.  It is my understanding that she kept Mark till he was 6 and left him at an orphanage.  To me, as a parent, that is unimaginable.  I have never seen a picture of Mark but I would love to.  I would love to see if he looks like my father and I would love to know if I have a full brother out there somewhere.  He could be the child of one of three men.  Or more!  Who knows!!?? 

I was very fortunate that I had grandparents living close by and they were so helpful to my father after Valerie left.  They even inquired about adopting me in case she ever came back and tried to take me away.  They didn't know at the time that she was long gone and would never be heard from again.  My father was an amazing man.  (we lost him in June of 2007 to cancer)  During the week I stayed at my grandparents house while my Dad was at work.  He would work 8-12 hours a day some days but he always made it to my grandparents to put me to bed or at least kiss me goodnight if I was already asleep. On the weekends, he would take me back to his house (which was only the next town over from my grandparents) and take care of me till Sunday night when the process started all over again.  Things were this way till I was three when he married my Mom.  My real Mom.  The one who would raise me and care about me until her death in August of 2010.  

More later!  I have to go make dinner.  Please check back again.

A not so ordinary beginning to a not so ordinary life.

I have a story, but then again, don't we all.  Mine starts the same as anyone else's.  About 38 years ago my parents met... fell in love ... 9 months later I was born.   Yeah, that's not exactly how it happened but it sure sounds good.  Instead, my parents met outside of a Navy base in Newport, Rhode Island where my Dad's ship was docked.  My birth mother, Valerie, was a wandering soul having traveled from Calgary Canada and more than a little on the slutty side considering that by the time she met my Dad she had already had given birth to, and left behind, three other children. We'll get back to that later.  She meets my father and... well, we all can figure out what happened.  My father was on his way out of the Navy, having fulfilled his commitment, when Valerie came up pregnant.  They returned to my Dad's home state of New Jersey where they informed my grandmother that she was pregnant.  My grandmother, God rest her soul, was very old fashioned and insisted that Valerie and my Dad marry immediately.  There was one very big problem.... Valeria was already married to a man named Ken back in Calgary.   Her story, which is not to be believed, is that Ken had run off and she could not find him to divorce.  Trust me, that could not be any further from the truth.

I will return to this blog in the next day or so to give you more on how my not so ordinary life began.  Now, it's off to bed.  Goodnight.